I started taking dance lessons this week. They are on Tuesday nights at a little church up the block from our apartment in Northern Manhattan. The instructor is Russian, in his late 40s/early 50s, trained in the Fred Astaire system. His name is Oleg.
“Where do you teach?” I asked him, while we waited for class to start.
“I teach in a studio in Man-hattan,” he said.
“Ah,” I replied.
A few minutes later, my husband asked Oleg, “So, where do you live?”
“I leeave over in Man-hattan,” he replied again.
“Ah,” my husband said, lapsing into silence. We exchanged an amused look, both of us thinking and wondering whether we should tell him that we live in Manhattan too. We opted to remain silent.
A split second later, the older Russian lady exclaimed, “Well, this is Manhattan too!”
Oleg looked at her and just shrugged. He didn’t seem convinced.
I wanted to laugh.
I guess it’s quiet up here. Come out of the subway and you can actually hear birds chirp. There’s a tree outside our apartment building that is home to dozens of sparrows. And, on summer mornings and evenings, you can barely hear yourself think.
I suppose that Washington Heights – or Hudson Heights – if you want to use the real estate term – is city and suburb living rolled into one. You have the all-important A train, a few decent restaurants, and the experience of being able to walk in a five-block radius and experience three different cultures – Russian, Dominican, and what I like to call ‘Gentrian.’ You also have an immense park, a museum, quiet, and more space.
Since we moved up here, I’ve gotten pretty used to people asking me if I live in the Bronx. When first-timers come to visit, they say things like, “Where is New York City?” or … “How far away is Manhattan?” … even though they’ve clearly crossed the George Washington Bridge and paid a $6 toll!
When my uncle from Jackson Heights came to visit a few months ago, he said, “Oh, this is just like Queens.”
My first response was, “No, it’s not.” I felt the need to defend my 212 area code, and tell him all the reasons why this was Manhattan.
But then I remembered something my dad told me a long time ago: “Don’t bother trying to change people’s minds and perspectives and convince them of something just to boost your image in their minds. If they want to think you don’t know something, let them. You don’t have to prove yourself to anybody. That just means you’re trying to prove yourself to your own self.”
Papa was like that. He was a silent doer. If he want to a party and found himself in a group of people who held a strong opinion about something (say real estate) and he had a piece of information that might change their mind, he gauged the situation. Were these people who really wanted to know? Would they want to hear something that would make them feel less erudite? If no, he kept silent. He even applied that rule in instances where he realized that an individual had an impression of him that was mistaken.
I like that philosophy. Why do I sometimes feel the need to try and convince someone that I live in Manhattan. To feel like I’m more sophisticated or worldly? To enable them to view me through a certain lens?
Ehh. It’s not really necessary, is it? Papa would say no.
Still, every now and then, I do want to make a list of all the things I love about my neighborhood. So, for the record they are:
The Cloisters
Fort Tryon Park
The Little Red Lighthouse
Frank’s Gourmet Market
The Cornerstone
The Pumpkin House
Regardless of the borough, many of them are worth a visit – or a hike or drive – depending on where one is coming from!